blahh ok i have no i dea why i write these, probably to vent and crap so here it goes.....

bout 4 week ago i started at CIA and i love it there, the people are awesome, the teachers are great, and the classes are more wonderful than i expected, but with all of this my life feels bland. in about two weeks ill turn 19, and its just another reminder on how i have no one close to spend it with, and i dont see how this year will be different. i thought that with a new school would come at least a chance to meet someone at least with a fraction of interest in me personally, but with no avail. im am doomed to live perpetually in this friend zone never to breach that invisible barrier into something intimate with a wonderful girl, but all i am is just a friend that makes 'em laugh and nothing more. i was recently asked if i wanted to go hangout with some people and go to a hookah bar, but i turned them down (with a little resistance from them) because im just not that kind of guy, im not a partier im not wild or anything, and i really doubt thats going to change. so for the moment im giving up on searching and even waiting to be found. all im doing right now is working on my artwork nothing else. if someone wants to rescue me from this horrible state of being then be my guest, i just have no expectations at all